Eastenders Groundhog Day

Yo guys. Been away for a while. Just err… taking in the show.

But there’s something i’ve discovered recently.

I could stop watching for a few months, come back, and one of two things could be happening.

1. Dean, Shirley and Buster would STILL be putting on a ‘united front’, going into the vic or any other location where Mick and/or Linda or other members of the family happen to be, saying or doing something ridiculous then acting like someone had made their dog have an unprovoked crap on their lawn when they got chucked out.

2. Tina and/or Shirley would be trying to make a truce with Mick by organising a family dinner or some sort of event at the pub, only to act like someone had made their dog have an unprovoked crap on their lawn when Dean isn’t allowed to come too.

3. Mick would be discovering Dean in random places and threatening him, with Dean desperately trying to prove his ‘innocence’.

And some other variations of this too.

It’s like Eastenders groundhog day.

Also, consider the following:

Shirley Carter asked for the infamous ‘ten grand off Phil’ and thought this was a) enough to buy Mick and Linda out of the pub and b) something that could actually happen. Phil, for some reason unknown to man, actually gave it to her. In wads of cash tied up in special ‘money ties’ that Phil must have a drawer full of at home just in case. Then she broke into a garage that wasn’t hers or even Phils, went to the trouble of getting a grindy thingy and a welding mask, going to the vic, getting a ladder, climbing up it, undoing the screws on the sign above the door, getting the sign, climbing down the ladder, putting the mask on, going into the bar, putting the sign on the bar and grinding her name off the sign, then slapping down the wads of cash on the bar. Only to be told “no, it’s not going to happen”, and then having to take all of the equipment back. Mysteriously I haven’t seen her give Phil his ten grand back though. Oh well, he’s got plenty more ten grands for whoever needs ‘his help’.

To nicely round off this post, here are a selection of unrelated videos of Dean getting threatened etc.

Christmas Day


3rd and 5th of February

19th February

( i know bit of a weird one )

Some time in March or April

A couple of days later

A couple of weeks after that

And so on and so forth.


*VOTE* Lovestenders 3rd – 7th Feb – 10 things I loved about this week’s EastEnders

It’s the end of another week, which means it’s time for another fabulous chance to vote for your favourite EastEnders moment from the past few days. I’ve nominated ten moments, and there’s also a chance to suggest your own idea at the bottom of the poll (just type your suggestion in the ‘other’ box). Have fun!

Musicstenders #3 – “Wings are made to fly”

Hi everyone, after a short break from the blog I’m back with another Musicstenders. I know, I know, none of you can contain your excitement. I should probably get on with it then.

Today’s fabulous Musicstenders comes to you courtesy of a classic comic relief storyline. You know, those ones that randomly take place over a few intense weeks leading up to comic relief night and before long are barely ever mentioned again. *CYNICAL MODE OFF* they’re for a good cause, people. This storyline featured Liam Butcher – son of Bianca and grandson of the legend that is David Wicks – joining a gang and eventually ending “up shit creek without a paddle”. To cut a long story short, the storyline culminated with one of Liam’s fellow gang members getting sent to prison and Liam “going to stay with his dad for a bit”. In the clip below, the family gather round to wave Liam off as he prepares to leave the square. Even the hardest of people found it hard to fight back the tears as Bianca realised he didn’t need his infamous cap anymore. It was all very heartwarming and emotional – until “Wings” by Little Mix (yes, WINGS… BY LITTLE MIX…) began to fade in and become so overpowering that it became a Musicstenders. Experience this moment below.

Ten Things I loved about this week’s EastEnders in “Lovestenders” – Vote for your fave!

I’ve created a new, more positive feature because I don’t want it to look like I’m constantly taking the piss out of the show I love!

Below is a poll containing the ten things I loved about this week’s EastEnders. Feel free to vote for your fave and maybe even enter a suggestion of your own.

Cringestenders #1 – The Branning Bros. Take On ‘Adam White’ (me neither really…)

Welcome to the first ever Cringestenders, a feature which aims to remind you of the most unintentionally cringeworthy scenes and moments on EastEnders. Today’s comes courtesy of the Branning Bros.™ and notorious panto villain Carl White’s brother, Adam White (according to YouTube). In case you’ve chosen to forget, Christmas Day 2012’s duff duff was dedicated to some random woman Max was apparently supposed to be more in love with than Tanya. That woman was Kirsty Branning, who Max threw out of his house earlier this year by chucking her out the door & down the stairs with her bags. Don’t worry though, she eventually got her own back as a grinning David Wicks watched for a laugh. Anyway, I digress. At some point in 2013 Kirsty left the square and ended up staying with Carl’s supposedly dangerous brother.

In this clip, Max has marched down there, with the secret back-up of his much harder brother Jack to ‘teach Adam a lesson’ and save Kirsty. Max gets into character by atmospherically smoking a fag in his aviator shades whilst staring at the ‘gaff’ that he’s about to burst into. After this fabulous moment, he walks up to the door and rings the bell. On the window behind the curtains there are some strategically placed beer bottles all standing in a neat row to remind us that this guy is bloody ruthless so beware. Before long, there he appears at the door. Adam White, a man who could clearly wipe the floor with Max to be fair. You sense this in Max’s eyes, the slowly dawning realisation that he’s not going to be able to have this guy. But still he continues to play the character he created, the guy in those aviator shades. We all think for a moment that the underdog might succeed but then Adam White starts punching him repeatedly so Jack has to run round the corner and fight the battle instead. To cut a long story short, Adam White ends up lying in pain on a conveniently dumped mattress (again, proving the guy is ruthless) and the Branning Bros. ™ swagger away into the sunset. Enjoy the brilliance – and i’ll be truthful, it’s all for ‘that’ moment with the shades and the fag – below.

Spoilstenders 21st January 2014 – Another bloody Carter & Spraggan Pursues Wicksy

Yo peeps, time for your latest fix of all the hilarity to come in Eastenders. I’m going to keep it short and sweet, cause that’s the way I’m rolling right now. These are the weeks biggest spoilers, in Spoilstenders.

Another bloody Carter
EastEnders have cast Lee Carter, who is Mick and Linda’s oldest son that you may have heard them casually dropping into conversations. You may also remember him from that shoehorned-in Skype call where you couldn’t see his face (which was used for two purposes – a) to be aware of this guy and b) to introduce the Linda/Sharon friendship so that it could develop into a rivalry. I’m sure that people will tell you Lee’s coming into the show for all kinds of different reasons, but I personally think he’s here to help Linda choose what to have on her feature wall after Sharon was such a let down.



Spraggan Pursues Wicksy
The legend that is Nikki Spraggan decides to try her luck with fellow legend David Wicks, or Wicksy as I like to call him, completely ignoring the fact that his brother was nicknamed that and not him. Nikki tries her very best but Wicksy doesn’t appear to be particularly interested…


Mind you, to be fair to her he does have some other shit going on in his life right now.


That’s all for this week’s Spoilstenders, like and share!

LOLstenders # 1 – “The Epic Queen Vic Brawl”

Welcome to the first ever LOLstenders, those moments when EastEnders seriously attempts comedy. This one is a gem from the summer of 2012, right in the middle of… yep, you guessed it, the infamous “Who did Kat?” storyline. You must watch the video to get the full experience but in a nutshell, the men of Albert Square turn a tiny little tiff about the pub football team into a full-on comedy brawl that seemingly all the males of walford become so passionate about that they would trash their local pub in order to prevail. Michael tries to have a calm, suave drink at the bar & keeps getting knocked over, Fatboy falls head-first onto big Mo and Shirley’s table, someone throws a stool, Syed pours ice down Derek’s back, Max walks past the Vic and… you really have to see that to grasp the true brilliance of that moment, and all the while Alfie is being a mini-buffoon and Kat is shrieking “ALFAAAAAAAAY!” (whilst staring uneasily at each man involved in her storyline.)

Experience this classic LOLstenders below. Don’t worry, the fight gets stopped with a blow horn.